I’ve always felt things DEEPLY.
As a child, I’d not only feel my own feelings but I’d feel the feelings of others: my parents, neighbors, friends, strangers, folks I’d see on TV and on and on. It’s not something I’d consciously try to do, it just happened all the time. And as I got older, it only magnified. I often felt like I was a big sensor, constantly feeling everything and I wanted it to stop.
Since I couldn’t turn it off, the only option to shut down all these feelings was to get numb.
By the time I was a teen, my drug of choice for numbing was food.
It would often happen on the weekends. My neighbor’s daughter and I would order enough food for a small army and proceed to eat it all as fast as we could. We’d stuff ourselves till we felt like we’d explode. And for a while it felt euphoric.
Not long after, I started having these binge sessions by myself. On one of those days I happened to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and thought, “What are you doing!?” Right then and there I quit.
However, the reflex to numb remained.
So I moved on to shopping, relationships, work and a demanding schedule. Anything to stop feeling and be in control.
But the truth was, I wasn’t in control.
THE SECRET POWER OF YOUR EMOTIONS
Most of us didn’t learn how to relate to our emotions in a healthy way.
Instead, we learned that any unpleasant emotion was an inconvenience that had to be handled as swiftly as possible.
Regardless of gender identity, we learned we had to calm down, shut up, keep it in, swallow the pain, hide the sorrow and stuff down the shame.
On top of that, we’ve been bombarded with binary messages such as…
“Women are too emotional.”
“Real men don’t cry.”
Whether these messages (or similar ones) came from our family of origin or our culture, the end result was the same:
We learned that expressing our emotions wasn’t safe and signified weakness, so we suppressed them. But the harsh reality is…
Anything suppressed is eventually expressed.
So, we use food, work, shopping, drugs, alcohol, sex, entertainment and even exercise and other “healthy” activities to numb ourselves and avoid feeling.
And, if you were an extra sensitive child this was probably magnified.
MAKING THE SHIFT
Not feeling our emotions is a tool of our broken systems.
When we don’t honor our feelings we continue to internalize messages that we might not consciously believe in, but that we’ve been subconsciously indoctrinated with. These messages operate on our subconscious and dictate our thoughts, behaviors and patterns. (Let that sink in.)
That’s why we might say, “I’m worthy.”
Yet, we struggle with…
- Putting ourselves out there.
- Ending a toxic relationship.
- Hitting publish on that project.
- Self-doubt, self-sabotage and procrastination.
Behind each of these behaviors is an emotion and a corresponding belief.
To end the tug-of-war with our feelings, we must shift our relationship to our emotions and recognize that…
Your emotions are initiatory portals and the gateway to deeper healing.
Every emotion you’ve ever had (and will ever have) comes bearing powerful wisdom, lessons and gifts. When you reclaim your emotional terrain, you’re able to infuse their gifts into your life and all you do.
After spending 20 years doing my own personal healing work, I’ve gotten pretty good at navigating my emotional landscape and helping others do the same. Like everyone, I have my good days and not so good days, however, when I experience an uncomfortable emotion, I’m able to dive deep and decipher what’s at the core.
One of my gifts is guiding others to unpack the patterns and wounds that keep them running in place while integrating the gifts of their emotions into their lives, art and business.
After working with a diversity of folx from entrepreneurs to non-profit founders to performers to visual artists to filmmakers to corporate folx to stay-at-home and working moms I can say that when we integrate the gifts of our emotions shifts happen.
We’re able to call in and create our highest vision for ourselves and humanity and rise as leaders in every area of our lives.
My work blends coaching and healing to create a transformational container. It combines breathwork, shadow work, executive coaching and embodiment and creativity practices. Also, intuitive and energy work and earth based indigenous wisdom that I’ve learned and have been practicing since childhood.
If you’ve got big plans for your life, art or business in 2019 and would like heart-centered, soul-expanding support let’s chat!
Together, we’ll explore and see if it’s a fit. You can schedule a spot on my calendar right here.