About a year ago, I begun to lay the foundation for what I wanted to create and experience this year. I started by envisioning the different areas of my life and focused on how I wanted to feel in each area. As I dived deeper, the word freedom came up repeatedly.
So I begun the process of creating a deeper sense of freedom in my life. In my business, that meant hiring creative soulmates who would support my vision. It also led me to create a beautiful and soulful retreat in Tulum. For my life, it meant more romance and love and spending quality time exploring the world with my love; having meaningful conversations with my family and friends; taking great care of myself; and of course leaving plenty of space for surprises.
By the start of 2016, I felt something magical and transformative was happening that year. Soon after I found out my love and I were confirmed to take a whirlwind trip to Europe and in a matter of weeks we were on our way.
Halfway through our trip, we arrived in Paris, and we were met with the most spectacular rainstorm as we descended the hot red Thalys train. I didn’t even care that I didn’t have an umbrella or that I was lugging two suitcases, I was happy and the rain served as my happy tears. During one moment, I looked up at the sky and it was this amazing indigo blue and I knew it was a good omen.
Our days in Paris unfolded in a spectacular fashion, the weather was unusually warm for that time of year, and the air was crisp and fresh. On Valentine’s Day we had a romantic dinner at a quintessential Paris bistro and then walked hand-in-hand to the Eiffel Tower.
However, in the days that followed, I didn’t feel like myself. I thought it was due to all the traveling we’d been doing, but something felt different.
Even after sleeping in, the feeling persisted, so I turned within for guidance.
What I was guided to do next was surprising but I knew, from experience, I had to follow my intuition.
About an hour later, after a series of synchronistic events we ended up at the Notre Dame. As I entered the great doors of this old church, spontaneous tears rolled down my cheeks. I felt so full of love and knew I was led right there as the Universe’s little whisper that everything was already perfect.
We hopped on a bus and headed to the Eiffel Tower. This time we went to the very top. As we took in the breathtaking view there was a punctuated silence between us. The moment felt right. I looked over at him and feeling the warmth of my gaze he looked at me and smiled. That’s when I looked in the eyes I’ve known over lifetimes and said,
He then said, “Are you serious?” I nodded and blurted out,
“Yes, I’m pregnant… we’re pregnant. We’re having a baby!”
Saying those words out loud made the secret I’ve been holding in for hours real, and for what felt like an beautiful eternity all of Paris stopped.
Amid tears, laughter, hugs and kisses we relished in that unforgettable moment.
Truth is, we weren’t expecting or planning this.
We both had to make changes in order to create a beautiful home for this precious human being. It truly has been a transformative process not only in the physical sense but also emotionally, spiritually and mentally.
It’s made us stronger and yet more vulnerable than we’ve ever been before.
In the months that followed our trip, I feel that I’ve learned how easy it is to look outside of ourselves and create a checklist for freedom. That kind of freedom requires external circumstances to line up perfectly. However, true freedom is about surrender. Surrendering the need to control and surrendering resistance to what is. Instead, I’ve had to cultivate deep trust so that I could allow myself to walk through the gate of motherhood.
I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to experience pregnancy with flexibility and ease, something I believe every woman deserves.
I feel fortunate to do work I love and believe in deeply, with amazing clients that I love even more, and to have you in this community that I can share my heart with.
I feel blessed to have a supportive and loving partner, who has become our home’s head chef, massage therapist, and herbalist for all my pregnancy symptoms.
I feel lucky to have an amazing devoted family who have served as my rock throughout this process.
Finally, I feel humbled to have this miraculous being, who has also been one of my greatest teachers, growing inside of me. All I can do is bow deeply to God in gratitude.
So as we await the birth of our baby later on this fall, one thing I know for sure I want to savor every precious moment.
Thank you creating the space where I can share this amazing new adventure with you. I am grateful for your presence and love.
//In the comments, I’d love to know what themes have been coming up for you this year.//
//Here’s a sneak peek of our maternity photo shoot we did a few weeks ago to celebrate this journey.//
With deep love + gratitude,
BIG UPDATE FROM OUR FAMILY: Soon after writing this, our precious baby decided it was time to make a grand entrance into the world. We feel so blessed beyond words. Mommy and baby are healthy and are focusing on rest right now. Please keep us all in your thoughts and prayers. Big love + blessings!