Over the years, I’ve met many women and men with big dreams and big visions who’ve spent years going around in circles. They’re caught in a cycle sometimes conscious, sometimes unconscious of self-sabotage, fear, and patterns and/or behaviors that derail their best intentions.
Sometimes the cycle is more subtle, but the end result is the same:
They aren’t living the life they truly want.
When appropriate I’ve suggested to some of these individuals that they hire a coach.
For many of them it was just the lightbulb moment they needed. There were a few who had considered it in the past, but the vast majority of people I’ve encountered didn’t realize they even needed a coach or that it was an option for the challenges they were facing.
And I get it.
Unless you grew up with parents who not only instilled the importance of getting support but also mirrored it for you, many of us, go at it alone in life.
I went at it alone for a long time simply because I didn’t know there was another way. When I first started working with coaches it was a leap of faith and I didn’t know what to expect.
However, I can say working with coaches has changed both my life and business. Simply put, I wouldn’t be where I am today without the love, support and accountability of my amazing coaches and mentors.
8 Surprising Signs You Need A Coach
1. You’ve got a big goal.
When you have a goal that truly stretches you it will also challenge you in ways you can’t imagine. Having someone to help you shift your perspective, see new possibilities, and co-create a unique soul-centered strategy is essential in pursuit of your goal. Great actors, great athletes, great singers, great entrepreneurs all have coaches so why shouldn’t you?
2. You’ve plateaued.
In college, I had a telemarketing job where I had to call people and offer them subscriptions for magazines. After a few weeks, I quit and found an amazing internship. I now realize that the main reason this job didn’t work for me (besides the cold calling) was I plateaued at the ripe age of 18. No fun.
Maybe you’ve hit a plateau in your life, work or relationship. Word to the wise, not all plateaus suck. Sometimes a plateau period can feel and look nice, because you’re in your comfort zone, but staying in this place too long can cause dissatisfaction, depression and a constant nagging feeling inside. If you’ve plateaued, first admit it then start setting your sights on higher ground.
3. You’ve hit a block.
If you find yourself running into the same obstacles and not getting the results that you want then you’ve hit a block. Many people think blocks are a sign to give up. Quite the contrary, a block is often the signal you’re headed in the right direction and you need help navigating your way through it. So don’t give up, instead find a guide to assist you in getting to the other side.
4. You dim your light.
Do you get hit with a major case of self-sabotage just when you dig up the courage to do something meaningful? Negative thoughts? Check. Procrastination? Check. Overwhelm? Check. Perfectionism. Double check. If you say you’re going to launch your website, release a new product or service, get active on social media, film that video, share your gifts but that someday dream never turns into today reality, then you’re dimming your light big time. Don’t hide out in dark. The world needs your light! Besides, turning on the light is much easier than you think.
5. Your inner child is running your life.
Many of our adult issues are due to our childhood wounds. Even if you didn’t have a terrible childhood, you probably still have childhood wounds that play some role in your life. Sometimes we can clearly tell when our inner child is running the show — our emotions are out of control, we want it our way or no way, we have a hard time handling adult tasks and responsibilities, and we take things super personally.
These wounds formed when something we perceived as negative happened to us at a young age. Since we weren’t equipped to emotionally deal with it, our childlike minds created deep seated beliefs to process it. Now as adults these same beliefs directly disrupt our present day goals. Instead of getting upset with your inner child make her an ally for a brilliant future. Together you can create a life that’s full of pleasure while still being a whole adult.
6. You wear a mask.
Do you feel you have to constantly keep it together? Is the mask you wear publicly vastly different than who you are privately? You might wear the mask of constant happiness, being the good girl, the doting partner or the always there friend. You tell yourself you’re being this way for the people you love but they’re actually missing out on all the facets that make you you. It’s time to drop appearances and get vulnerable so that you can experience true connection.
7. You’re a savior.
Right before any flight you hear the announcement that says, “In case of an emergency please place your oxygen mask on first, before assisting anyone else, even a small child.” A person who plays the role of savior does the exact opposite. A savior wants to rescue everyone in their lives from pain even at the expense of their own well being and dreams. Saviors usually appear very noble but beneath it there is a deep need to be well, needed. I’ve met people who have lost their entire life savings trying to save friends and family members, only to have years have go by and they are no closer to doing what they wanted to do in their lives. The kicker — their friends and family members still manage to get themselves in the same situations. The lesson here is:
To be the change you want to see in the world, you've got to put your own oxygen mask on first. Click To Tweet
8. You’re human.
Question: When you walk into a room who’s the only person you can’t see?
Because we can’t see ourselves we can find ourselves easily repeating the same patterns, habits, behaviors that lead us further and further away from our true desires. These blind spots keep you from your dreams. A coach will spot your blind spots and bring them to the light so they can be transformed and serve you.
4 Things To Look For In A Coach
Many people might choose a coach based on their outside persona or because of their following. However, go deeper and ask yourself. Is your coach authentic? Do you resonate with her message? her heart? her life? A coach who is authentic will:
- Practice what she preaches.
- Show vulnerability instead of perfection.
- Care so much about you that she’ll tell you the truth and stand for the highest vision of you.
2. Trusts Your Wisdom
I think a coach who acts like she knows it all is a big red flag. If this person feels like she knows your life and circumstances better than you do, then run the other way. This doesn’t mean your coach can’t point out your potential blindspots and offer tools and strategies. However, a great coach will be able to guide you to uncover your answers from the wisdom that lies inside of you, because she trusts you. Instead of giving you a cookie cutter map to follow, together you’ll co-create a map that’s unique to you and your circumstances.
3. Has Put In The Work
In order to be a powerful coach you’ve got to put in the work. Work not only means training but also a continual commitment to growth. What’s her philosophy? Who does she admire? How long has she been committed to living this way? All this will give you insight on who your coach is.
4. Sees Your Wholeness
When a coach sees you from the perspective of wholeness opposed to brokenness the possibilities for what you can create are endless. Trying to fixing someone is very different from being a guide for transformation. A coach acts as a conduit for your transformation. She knows you are whole as you are and the journey is one that reveals your innate wholeness. Seeing you as whole will also allow your coach to approach your life from a 360 degree lens. She will see how the different areas of your life are interconnected and approach your coaching relationship from that view point.
What You Need To Know Before Hiring A Coach
When you decide to hire a coach there is something you need to be very aware of.
The patterns, behaviors, and thoughts that have held you back will come out in full force.
You’ll find someone amazing that you want to work with and then you’ll start to talk yourself out of it.
You might find yourself saying things like,
“I don’t have enough time.”
“I don’t have the money.”
“I’m too tired.
“What if it’s not worth the investment?”
And guess what?
That’s completely normal.
Right before you make a major change you will experience uncertainty, fear, resistance, and excuses. That’s because your ego is scared to death of change.
Although change is exactly what you need right now, your ego is rarely ever on board.
Even after all of these years, whenever I’m making changes I still experience all of these feelings and behaviors. Every single successful person I know still experiences uncertainty, fear, resistance, and excuses.
In fact, a few years back when I was hiring a coach I was very hesitant to make a big investment and commit to a program that was close to a year long. I found every reason in the book to back out. However, being a coach I was able to bust myself. I knew that my mind was making those excuses but my heart was saying yes. Despite all my hesitation and fear I took the leap. Well throughout that coaching relationship I had some MAJOR realizations which led to the next steps in my life and business. This coaching relationship served had a domino effect of my life and led to my diving deeper in shadow work, starting the Sisterhood Rocks community and retreats and even led the birth of my son.
The investment I made actually paid me in spades!
That’s the power of coaching.
So what do you do if you’re still feeling afraid? To get to the other side say this to yourself:
I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am worthy of my desires. I am committed to making choices that reflect my commitment to the greatest vision of my life. I am more powerful than I know and right now I align with my powerful and authentic self. [Your name] you got this!
Try it for yourself.
Saying this will shift your perspective to what’s really important and what is truly real.
When you do this you immediately step into faith and start creating momentum in the direction of what you want.
Finally, even though a coach can help you transform your life remember just like you she’s human. She’s on a journey full of ups and downs, just like you are, so show her the kindness and compassion that she shows you.
>I sincerely hope this served you. If it did, please share it with your friends. Then in the comments let me know what’s important to you when working with a coach.<<<